It’s hard to believe that ten and half months have come and gone and with it my mission to Afghanistan has drawn to an end. My last month in Kabul was indeed a busy one. Evidently leaving Afghanistan is as difficult as getting into it. I guess that is a pretty accurate reflection of the political situation in the country as well.
Tonight, as I write my last blog entry from the comfort of my living room, I’m doing my best to reflect on the events of the last year. It may be too soon for me to offer much insight to the big questions about the war, the costs to so many nations in terms of lives lost and treasure squandered, or what the future may hold for Afghanistan. Remember that my experience in Afghanistan has been fairly narrow and I am nowhere near qualified to give sweeping opinions and prescriptions about competing strategies and national interests, the epic failures, or the unqualified successes.
However, based on my nine months in Kabul I feel comfortable enough to offer up these nuggets.
· The people of Afghanistan recognize the poor state of their country. However, they are exhausted by thirty years of war and don’t have much of an appetite for the kind of civil action that we see in Libya, Syria, or Egypt. They are wary of the expected military drawdown set for 2014 and the mood is one of uncertainty and genuine concern.
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| The Canadian Civilian Police Contingent gathered in Kabul for Remembrance Day. You could hear the goosebumps snap to as the names of the Canadian soldiers killed in Afghanistan since the last Remembrance Day ceremony were read out loud. This was without doubt the most solemn November 11 I've ever experienced. |
· Afghan men are often overlooked in the discussions of the perceived unfairness of Afghan arranged marriages. I’ve had many conversations with young Afghan men about marriage. Some have told me that they may never be able to get married because it is so difficult for them to scrape together enough money for the wedding and the marriage. Even if they find the means almost all will have their bride picked for them by their mother or an older sibling.
I can share one story in this regard involving one of the young Afghan police officers I worked with. He was a likable young guy about 24 years old, always smiling, and always looking for a chance to practice his English, which was actually not too bad by local standards. One morning he was really down in the dumps, clearly not himself, and was quite distracted. I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he had just got engaged. His older brother had picked a wife for him and this poor sod was clearly not happy with his brother’s selection. I offered him a handshake of equal parts condolence and congratulation. I asked his fiancée’s name and he couldn’t even recollect it.
I’m not trashing the practice of arranged marriages. But looking at this guy it really struck me that the man’s plight in these deals is often overlooked by mainstream media and western opinion. He’ll never fall in love and marry the girl of his dreams, he’ll never feel that love in return, and that is truly a great shame. I can only think that it must feel like profound loneliness. I can’t help but think and dread how that will affect his relationship with any children that he’ll have.
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| The Canadian flag signed by students at Westglen Elementary School in Edmonton was flown with great pride over Kabul early on the morning of Remembrance Day November 11, 2011. |
Bed bugs suck! The only remedy is to burn your bedding. Don’t itch the bites and don’t tell your spouse until the bites have all cleared up. Apparently it’s a big turn-off.
· People share as many commonalities as they do differences. Once you find out what it is you have in common with each other you can really move the relationship forward. It fosters trust and empathy.
· I advised one Afghan investigator more than any other. I called him my police partner and we had a good friendship. As I read one of his affidavits that had been translated into English I came across his badge number. As it turns out he and I each have the same regimental number. Coincidence you say? I don’t believe in coincidence, neither does he.
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| The send off cake lovingly decorated by my American colleagues. |
· There is no effort that is too small and distance is not an obstacle to making somebody’s life a little bit or a great deal better. Take my mom for instance. My mom wanted to do something to mark the occasion of having a son in Afghanistan. She quilted hundreds of covers for those little Kleenex travel packs and sold them at farmer’s markets and bake sales. She really built up some momentum and was even interviewed on local radio. She got a nice boost from the High River Rotary Club and by the end of my mission she had raised over $1,500 for Canadian Women for Women in Afghanistan. Way to go Mom! Check out this NGO’s website: http://www.cw4wafghan.ca/
· Canada is the best country in the world bar none!
· My wife is an incredible woman. Any success I have found is due to her support and encouragement. I love her dearly.
· Minus 30 degrees Celsius is still really cold regardless of how glad you are to get back to Edmonton!
If I am to sum up my experience in Afghanistan right at this moment I think I’d have to draw upon the farewell tea I shared with my Afghan colleagues. As best as I can recollect I told them something like this: “Afghanistan is now part of my family. My wife knows all your names, my children know all your names and so will my friends. When I hear news stories about Afghanistan I will think about each of you and your families. I will see your faces and I will hope and pray that you are all safe. Nothing will be the same for me as it was before.”
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| The Canadian flag flying with quiet pride over Kandahar Airfield on a windy evening in late February 2011. |
Thanks for checking in, so long.
Ken.
